Something I don’t talk about enough is how much this work gives back to me.
Yes, coaching is incredibly valuable for my clients, but it also continually reconnects me to my own values, purpose, and growth. And as a Coaching Psychologist, I don’t think that’s incidental. I think it’s psychological.
One of the frameworks I often draw on is Self-Determination Theory, developed by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan. Their research suggests that psychological well-being is nurtured when three core needs are met:
- Autonomy – feeling aligned with our values and choices
- Competence – feeling effective and capable
- Relatedness – feeling meaningfully connected to others
Coaching, for me, meets all three.
I work in a way that aligns deeply with my values (autonomy).
I use evidence-based skills and training I’ve worked hard to develop (competence).
And I build authentic, attuned relationships with my clients (relatedness).
When those three elements converge, work stops feeling transactional. It becomes purposeful.
The Power of Reflection (For Clients — and For Me)
In sessions, I talk a lot about self-reflection and journaling. Not as fluffy extras, but as psychologically grounded practices.
Reflective practice has strong roots in psychology and adult learning theory. It enhances metacognition, our ability to think about our thinking, which is associated with improved emotional regulation, insight, and behavioural change.
After every session, I engage in my own reflective process. I ask myself:
- What shifted for the client today?
- Where did I notice emotion in the room?
- What did I feel in my body?
- What assumptions did I hold?
- What might I do differently next time?
This is influenced by the reflective practitioner model originally conceptualised by Donald Schön, the idea that professionals grow not just through experience, but through thoughtful examination of experience.
It also aligns with the concept of deliberate practice, explored by Anders Ericsson, improvement comes not from repetition alone, but from intentional reflection and refinement.
If I encourage clients to pause, notice, and integrate, I must do the same.
The Therapeutic Relationship as a Catalyst
There’s robust evidence across psychological modalities that the therapeutic alliance is one of the strongest predictors of positive outcomes. Research synthesised by psychologists like Michael J. Lambert highlights that the quality of the relationship often matters more than the specific technique used.
So when I leave a session feeling proud, fulfilled, and deeply moved, it’s not just sentimentality.
It’s the recognition that:
- Trust was built.
- Insight was accessed.
- Courage was shown.
- Growth was witnessed.
To be invited into someone’s internal world, their doubts, dreams, fears, and turning points, is an extraordinary privilege. There is something profoundly human about sitting alongside someone as they reconnect with their agency.
Meaning, Fulfilment, and Psychological Wellbeing
Positive Psychology, pioneered by researchers such as Martin Seligman, differentiates between pleasure and meaning. Fulfilment, the kind that lingers after a session, comes not from fleeting positive emotion, but from contribution and purpose.
This connects to the concept of eudaimonic well-being, flourishing through living in alignment with one’s values and potential, rather than simply chasing happiness.
I often leave sessions thinking:
“I can’t believe I get to do this.”
Not because it’s easy. Not because every session is light or comfortable. But because it matters.
Practising What I Preach
If I ask my clients to:
- Notice how insights land in their bodies
- Track emotional patterns
- Journal between sessions
- Sit with discomfort rather than avoid it
Then I must hold myself to the same standard.
So yes, after every session, no matter who I’m working with, I come away feeling proud of my clients and their progress. But I also notice my own growth.
I notice:
- Where I stayed regulated.
- Where I leaned into curiosity instead of assumption.
- Where I trusted the process.
- Where I felt deeply aligned with my purpose.
That sense of fulfilment isn’t accidental. It’s the psychological reward of values-consistent action, something supported by Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), originally developed by Steven C. Hayes. ACT reminds us that living in alignment with our values, even when it’s challenging, is what builds meaningful lives.
More Than “Just a Job”
I love my job, but it is so much more than “just a job.”
It’s a space where science meets humanity.
Where structured methodology meets vulnerability.
Where growth happens in real time.
And every day, I’m grateful that my work aligns with who I am, not just professionally, but personally.
Because when we build lives and careers rooted in our values, everybody benefits.
Including us. 💕